watch over me in thought

So, weekend happened again...they just keep getting weirder and weirder by the..uh..week.

Since so many things are ambivalent and mixed in how I feel about them, this will be interesting:

+ Went to whole bunch of places on Saturday...Golden Gate Bridge, lunch in Sausalito...then Muir woods, which was lovely, and I agree with Harshil that elves could live there, and if there weren't so many tourists, one could get high and hear them sing. Then...
++Gorgeous drive to Stinson beach. I vaguely remember that drive with my parents years ago...that was the summer of Leap, I think...what a wonderful summer that was, and this one also. Anyway, I have not the poetic abilities of Ming, in any language, so I will not attempt to describe, but pictures exist, and will be posted. The beach itself was special too...the sand was so fine, like that of a desert dune. Twould have been ubber relaxing, but...
- sort of a weird atmosphere there. I think it's just us though. Maybe everyone was prompted to be pensive by the scene. We all seemed content to sit around or walk alone along the water...several times I wished I knew what they were thinking. Turns out knowing can only be worse.
+Sunday: worked on this crazy-go-nuts picture mosaic puzzle thingy all morning/afternoon. It was actually a great way to spend the day when there's nothing obviously exciting to do. gives you a feeling of accomplishment when ever you put a piece in, cause it's so damn hard.
++Stalking success! That's right. Greg came and took us to see Google+have dinner. The whole confusion/freakiness of Marissa's relayed message was cleared up, with Greg still perpetually paranoid, but oh well. Puuj, I'm sure, is still watching.
+Google was just, well, awesome. Snack bars making Ming excited, great colorful things all over the place (excersize balls? stuffed animals? BALLOONS?), massage room, comfy couches, beanies (oh Rudich...), challenging mint packaging, several things that I'm supposedly not to tell the general public and makes me a lot more self-concious about googling stuff, and, most impressive to me, a custom made black fuzzy throw with green 0's and 1's all over, Matrix style. Hell yeah! oh i love nerds...
-Had several moments of doubt...maybe I should have been a CS major after all? After all, why do I miss CMU so much anyway, and why does my project at SLAC amuse me so much with its fsx *plus* coding? I want a fuzzy binary blankie!! waaaa...ahem...moving on.
+So, after the lovely tour given by none other than the favorite Russian TA himself, we met up with Steve, one of his friends from CMU (yes, one of those wonderful people who, uh, knows things). Dinner at some steak place that I forget the name of...Yum. We finally ended up at Steve's place and Ming and I watched Greg get destroyed at some video game that I also forget the name of. Oh and Matt (who may or may not still interact with the piece of world that contains this livejournal)...your theory about most CS majors being so because they like video game is true, but you didn't need me to tell you that.
--Eventually had to interrupt their death matches and get Greg to drive us back to the house. Was very tired and went to sleep confused by the weekend's events and doubtful of the purpose and future of my life, even more than usual.
++Going along the vein of great tours, got a tour of SLD and the IR-2 control room on Monday. I still wonder which contains more cables, Google or SLAC. The detector (which is no longer in use) was dusty and not colorful at all, contained in a literal pit amongst the barren brown hills covered in dry grass, but it was magnificent in its size and not-so-well-hidden complexity alone. Even more amazing was that this monstrosity was built for the purpose of understanding the most fundamental pieces from which the universe is made (well, like 20 percent of it, anyway), that everything contained inside the brick red walls outside the muon detector once waited in patient observation of the particles created deep inside, like some huge benevolent being watching over excited children at play. (I haven't ranted about religion in a while, but if God exists, how much does he understand us? Does he watch us? does he watch us in all-knowing amusement or utter confusion of our worldly actions? I certainly hope whatever God there is isn't as nosy as we are :-) Anyway, it's just mind boggling, something so complicated and big, everything having to fit together and work perfectly to achieve this amazing precision. My faith in being a fsx major was restored utterly!

So that was my weekend. Overall (like, if you added up the +'s and -'s), it was really nice. it's even nice to have moments of doubt, moments of skepticism about what I'm doing, the unexpected keeping me on my toes. It's also nice to have things happen the way I expect, like how after a year of not seeing Greg and four years and almost a month after we first met, it's still feels so natural and easy to talk to him, about anything it seems. I'm really quite a reserved person, and there are so few people that I can talk to openly.

Anyway, enough of that.

Disclaimer: this entry was typed at random times of the workday when waiting for code to run/other people to test FEA boxes. Discontinuities are probably of the removable kind, but will not be removed because am lazy.